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Decision Fatigue. Yes, it is a real thing. Every day we make hundreds if not thousands of decisions. What to eat, what to wear, what to work on, when to read, when to send a text and on and on and on … It is estimated that in a full day an average person makes around 35,000 decisions. It seems like an unusually high number but this is what researchers have found in various studies.

Researchers at Cornell University estimate we make 226.7 decisions each day on food alone. And as your level of responsibility increases, so does the multitude of choices you have to make. It’s estimated that the average adult makes about 35,000 remotely conscious decisions each day.

Each decision requires time, energy and willpower – and contrary to popular belief, willpower is a finite resource and depletes over the course of the day. That is why it is recommended to make big and important decisions early in the day when we have more (mental) energy and willpower. This is also why Mark Twain suggests to ‘Eat The Frog’ first thing in the morning.

In her book, The Art of Choosing, writer and researcher Sheena Iyengar suggests that limiting our options can help us make better decisions. The more choices we have, the harder our brain works in comparing and deciding between the said options. So, start with a small set to choose from to simplify things and remove some of the decision fatigue.

So what are the ways to overcome decision fatigue and make better decisions?

I prefer to develop systems and routines where I can put less-important and recurring tasks and decisions on auto-pilot in what I call Future Decision Making.

Enter – Future Decision Making (making decisions for your future self)

I don’t want to spend time and energy every day to make the same decisions.
What to eat, when to eat, when to go to the gym, what to wear, what to watch, what to read etc.
I put in the time and thought up front to bulk these decisions and make them for my future self.

Some areas where I apply this methodology is:

Eating – Meal Planning

I have a four-week meal plan based on my macro requirements which list 3 main meals for any day in the coming weeks along with 2-3 snacks (I don’t always consume everything but it is pre-decided if needed). So I know what I need to eat and when so I don’t spend time deciding every day. Which by the way, also makes weekly/monthly grocery shopping a breeze as I know exactly what I need in the coming week.

Exercise – Gym Planning

I have an exercise plan that is prepared and updated by a professional trainer every four weeks based on my progress and goals at the time. I know exactly what I need to do when it needs to be done and I keep tracking my progress through the process. Another point on the limited willpower – I go to the gym early in the morning soon after waking up. I get the big tasks done early when I have the energy.

Media Consumption

I make a list of all the books, podcasts, movies and TV shows I wish to consume for a month and then add them to a queue.

Clothing

There was a time when most of the world used to go to this place called ‘An Office’ to work. Work from home was not a usual occurrence. In that time, I used to prepare my wardrobe on Sunday for the next 5 days. I knew exactly what I was going to wear on what day based on who I was meeting and when.
And for those who know me personally know that outside of work I almost always wear a black T-shirt with blue jeans. I don’t need to decide every time. I have made the one (blanket) decision that eliminates the 1000 decisions in the future.

Personal Projects & Holidays

At the beginning of the year I decide what personal projects I am going to work on; photography, music, blog etc. I then plan my year, goals and tasks around that. Marking important milestones and allowing time for breaks and holidays. Yes, the calendar is my best friend 🙂.

All of the above allow me to simplify my decision making and frees up my daily time to focus on more important things and creative pursuits. However, I am human after all. Things do not always go to plan and there is always that week when something comes up; impromptu catchup with a friend, a movie/book/podcast comes highly recommended by a trusted source, work runs late, or me/family member falls ill.
As much I plan things in advance, I allow room for flexibility and when things don’t go to plan – I don’t beat myself over it. There are things I can control and then there are things I can’t.
Most importantly – I plan to a point to ensure I leave room for spontaneity and serendipity.

A Note On Emotional Decision Making

Another very important aspect of future decision making is it eliminates the emotional decision making. As humans, we often make decisions based on feelings and emotions where our rational and logic self is overpowered. We make decisions in the moment based on how we feel and call it spontaneity.

For example, eating a doughnut for a snack instead of carrots and hummus or sleeping an extra hour instead of going to the gym because we feel hungry/tired/sleepy/emotional. When we organise our lives with your meal plans, gym plans or any other plan for that matter, it discourages this type of behaviours and helps in stick to the plans and the decision made previously (by our rational/logical self).

Some other ways to reduce decision fatigues.

• Outsource / delegate decisions
• Eliminate less-important tasks and decision
• Simplify and just make fewer decisions
• Once a decision has been made (with due diligence), sticking with it.
• Establishing daily/weekly/monthly routines and rituals.
• Using a decision matrix – If THIS, then THAT approach.

We want too many things in life. We have too many desires, prayers, dreams and hopes.
Of jobs, houses, clothes, money, businesses, health, romantic partners, children, social acceptance, and on and on …

Whatever you find yourself praying for or wanting right now, ask yourself:
Am I worthy of this?
Do my actions, beliefs and skills align with someone who would be worthy or successful at this? The answer should either be a HELL YES or a NO.
Not maybes, sorta, kinda. No grey areas.

Unfortunately though, more often than not the answer is a no.
And if the answer is no and you feel you are not worthy of something, then ask yourself; how do I become worthy of this?
Is there something I need to change in myself (physical or mental), my environment, my knowledge or skills in order to become worthy?

There is this misleading notion that no matter what it is, if we truly desire it, visualise it, pray for it, we can have it. I don’t entirely believe in this premise which has been sensationalised by books and movies like The Secret.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not opposed to having desires and wanting the universe/gods fulfilling those desire but where is your part in that? Where is your action? Where is your effort? Your effort to become worthy of that desire?
Intentions alone do not yield results, actions do.

The first step, albeit, is to have a desire, a burning need for something.
The second, not so obvious, step is to become worthy of that desired outcome. In your actions, thoughts, beliefs, skills, experiences and so on.

• Do you want a promotion? Become worthy of that promotion. Acquire the knowledge, skill, network and experiences required to perform at that level. Put in the work. Don’t just desire it.
• You want your spouse/partner to love you, show affection? Are you worthy of that love and affection? Are your actions, beliefs and outlook of someone who is worthy of such love? Become worthy of such love by first giving that love.
• You want your children/colleagues/friends to respect you? Are you worthy of such respect? Do you have the patience, wisdom, aptitude to earn such respect? Become worthy of that respect by improving yourself.
• Do you want to be a successful entrepreneur/athlete/writer/painter? You know what needs to be done. Put in the effort and do it.

Don’t expect success to show to up when you do not deserve it and have not earned it. It doesn’t work that way. Success doesn’t show up unless you do.
Don’t just desire things and expect them to come knocking on your door. Put in the effort in your actions, thoughts and beliefs to become worthy of success.

Build consistency in your life.
In your personal and work life.
In your exercise, your sleep routine, your eating, your relationships, your education.
Build consistency in life if you want to see any meaningful results in any area of life, be consistent with your actions. Be deliberate. Be intentional.

The act of showing up every day is more important than any talent you can ever be born with.
The act of showing up IS your talent.
Consistently taking action. Not giving up. That is your superpower. Harness it.
It is the difference between good and great performance.

Practice makes perfect. It is a great expression and the reason is that it is true.
There is this misconception that you need to be born with certain talents to be able to do certain things in life. Whether painting, playing the piano, speaking different languages, playing sports or any other skill for that matter.
Talent is a lazy man’s way of saying; I can’t be bothered to put in the time and effort to learn and master this thing. So I am just going to blame it on a lack of talent.

Yes, having a certain genetic disposition is great. Some people are naturally better at somethings and if you are short, you probably don’t have a very good shot at the NBA but any skill can be developed. Any.
I am not saying its easy, I am saying it is possible.
So don’t hide behind the excuse of ‘talent’ to not pursue your dreams.
Anything worthwhile takes times, effort, intention and deliberate practice.

We expect consistency from the businesses and people we interact with, whether it’s your favourite restaurant, coffee shop, your accountant or a work colleague.
Great businesses thrive because of consistency and so can you.

Show up every day and do what needs to be done. Some days it will be easy and some days you will absolutely hate it. Do it nevertheless. Keep your goal front and centre.
Build consistency and watch how it will transform your life.

“Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come.” – Dwayne Johnson

From a very young age, we are taught what to think.
Whether that is line with culture, tradition or religion.
What to think about a certain country, race or political affiliation.
What to think about a certain sexual orientation.
What to think about a certain problem or issue (social, moral, economical etc).

We are influenced by our communities and peers on what to think (hence we all have similar thinking and problem-solving skills).
We are told what to do and what not to do by pretty much everyone, mostly grounded in religious morality and the accepted norms of a group.
We learn it from our elders and then pass that onto our children. Monkey, after all, does what the monkey sees.

This behaviour, unfortunately, needs to be untrained. This needs to be unlearnt. Although, it can create desirable short term results but it is detrimental in the long run.
I see this in my own home where we, unconsciously (having noble intentions), tell our 3 years old what to do, what not to do, how to act and how not to act.

The important thing to teach ourselves and our children is HOW to think. That is the key to success in life and of communities.

We must encourage people (big or small) to become problem solvers by not solving their problems for them but instead asking them how they think is the best way to solve a problem and then letting their imagination run wild. By asking the right questions that encourage analytical and critical thinking – at whatever level that might be for them. Questions that make them reconsider their course of action. Questions that can help them engage in a meaningful conversation.
Don’t just tell people what to do but show them how to do it and most importantly, explain to them why to do it.

We often just look for the answer, the solution, the punch line. We want to get ahead and not deal with the method of arriving at that answer. It is this kind of thinking that produces shallow results and mediocre futures.
It is the ‘what to think vs how to think’ approach to life.
You cannot appreciate the solution in any meaningful way if you don’t journey through the method of finding it out and achieving it.

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Acceptance comes in many shapes and flavours. Acceptance can create a sense of peace, balance and harmony in your life.

1. Accept yourself
   With all your limitations, flaws, imperfections and vulnerabilities. This is what it means to be human. This is the first step. Nobody is perfect. Accept yourself for who you are and move on.
   
2. Accept your past
   You can not change it however you can change your relationship with it. Whether it’s good, bad or ugly. Doesn’t matter. Just accept it. It was who you were. Your past doesn’t have to define your future nor your present.
   
3. Accept your mistakes
   Regrets don’t add any value to your present or future state. Let your mistakes serve as a reflection and learning point. Accept them. Mistakes are important in shaping the person you become.
   (Read my post on Making Mistakes)
   
4. Accept others as who they are
   Not an easy one to do, however, one of the key elements of fostering sustainable relationships. Acceptance of others is also a way to understand what you can/cannot control. You can influence people, try to convince them but how they act is, ultimately, out of your control which is to say, you cannot control others but only yourself. So it is important to accept others, for everyone wants to be recognised for who they are.
   
5. Accept you have limited control
   Not many things in life are in your control. The sooner you realise and accept this the better you can be at spending your time, effort and energy on things that are in your control.
   
6. Accept that your time is limited
   Whatever you need to do, do it now and stop wasting your time procrastinating. Stop putting things off to tomorrow as one day there will be no tomorrow. Sooner or later you will die and leave everything behind. Let that encourage you to get your shit in order and start taking massive action.
   (Read my post What Death Can Teach Us About Living for a bit of perspective on this)
   
7. Accept that you will fail
   Failure is the first step to success. Those that have not failed at anything have hardly ever tried anything new. If you are putting something off for fear of failure, DONT. Sooner or later you will fail at something in life, accept it. The ultimate goal is not success but the ultimate goal is to become a better version of yourself and failure is vital for that because success hardly teaches us much. There is no reflection and dissection after success. After failure, however, you assess, reflect, learn and try to do a better job the next time.
   “Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently” ― Henry Ford
   
8. Accept that you control your future
   Everything in life is a choice. Yes, everything. How you react to a certain situation (which you may have no control over) is also a choice. Your life and your future is determined by the choices you make. Not just the big choices like which job to accept or whom to marry or where to live but the small choice too. Your life is an aggregate of your choices to date. Poor choices reflect a poor life. So, your future is determined by the choices you are going to make from this moment on. Not fate or destiny or whatchamacallit.
   
9. Accept change
   This is perhaps the most elementary yet the most difficult one to do. Not only is change the only constant in life, it is inevitable. Everything is constantly changing, from big to small. The sooner you realise and work with it the better. Stop resisting change and start accepting it.
   (Read my post on Embracing Change, and while you are at it also read Why We Resist Change in the first place)
   
10. Accept your need for social approval
    We are social beings. We have an evolutionary need to belong to groups and gain the approval of our peers (whether we like them or not). Somewhere, somehow everything we do, on some level, is for social acceptance, no matter how ‘cool’ you think you are. We need the herd and their acceptance. Learn to work with people.
    
11. Accept that there will be suffering in life
    According to Gautama the Buddha, there are four universal sufferings in life; birth, aging, sickness, and death.
    Suffering, ultimately, is inevitable and is part of the human condition. You cannot avoid suffering no matter how healthy/rich you are. You can, however, be prepared for suffering to cushion the impact. You can train yourself psychology to respond better. At some point in life, you will suffer (old age, disease, death of a loved one, your own death), so don’t try to resist it. Accept it and be prepared for it.
    
12. Accept things as they are
    “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” ― Blaise Pascal.
    We are always trying to influence and change things. Always trying to control and manipulate things, situations and even people. Whether it’s a personal state or that of a culture or a nation. In the name of progress, improvement, religion or just a change of the old ways. We hardly ever accept things as they are, and don’t misunderstand, it is important to change things for making progress but sometimes it is the exact opposite that we need to do – Accept things as they are. It creates harmony, it creates peace and calm. It is the surrender of control and acceptance of our role in the grand scheme of things. It’s easy to debate and often feels good to talk about how things should be but takes toughness, humility and openness to accept them as they are.

Pretend you’re going to die in exactly 6 months from today. What would you do differently? Not much? Or perhaps everything?

• Would you still go to that job that is stressing you out and you despise?
• Attend that wedding/party/dinner with people you don’t choose? Merely because you ‘have to’ due to some self-imposed obligation to be a part of a community/social order?
• Would you continue doing all the things you currently do to be socially accepted?
• Would you still be afraid to express your true feelings to someone?
• Would you still worry about embarrassment? Failure? Loosing ‘face’?

Yes, it is not a comfortable subject for many to talk about or even think about, it is rather gloomy, as death provokes many unknowns. No one actually knows what happens after death. Yes, there are numerous scriptures and theories but no one has actually gone through it and verified any of those. However, thinking and talking about death is one of the most important practices you can do to give your life any sense of real meaning and purpose.

As Steve Jobs very eloquently said in his Stanford commencement speech:

All external expectations, all pride, all fears and embarrassment of failure fall away in the face of death. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way to avoid the trap of thinking that you have something to loose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

You can watch the full speech here

Keeping this in mind, let us go back to my opening question.
Pretend you’re going to die in exactly 6 months from today.
What would you do differently? Not much? Or perhaps everything?
My bet is; you would probably want to do everything differently.

Remembering Death

From the ancient Stoic philosophers to Buddhist monks and Sufi mystics, various cultures throughout time have meditated and contemplated death in their own ways.
The purpose? Simple; Remembering death and keeping it at the forefront of your mind makes you live. Really live, and ask the big questions and reexamine your priority.

We waltz through life as though it is never going to end. There is always that magical land of ‘tomorrow’ where we will achieve all our goals, have the perfect relationships, build a six-pack and become billionaires. Until then, we are comfortable and don’t want to bother.
Remembering that everything is impermanent including yourself, your thoughts and your words gives you perspective.

Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows. ― Michael Landon

We are very far removed from the concept of death and the ending of this very short life. It is going to end, for some, a lot sooner and suddenly than others. True story. Accept it.
Can you do anything to stop it? No. What you can do though, is start thinking about how you live. Reexamine your goals, motivations, dreams, hopes and actions.

Learning From Death

You see, death is the most fundamental conditions of existence and the single most important aspect of life. It is the only reason there are any thrills, excitements, motivations, the will to do something and build something.
Without death, without an end, there is no sense of urgency, achievement, legacy and personal motivation. Everything is mundane. Everything just is. Time is endless and therefore the will to finish anything simply does not exist. Death gives life it’s container. The impending sense of urgency. It’s meaning and purpose.
Knowing that you are going to die one day soon and leave everything behind, makes this life worth truly living for.
(Read my post on Knowing What You Want In Life)

No one gets out of life alive. Death is inevitable. We have all heard the sage advice and sayings, we all know this stuff but we don’t act as we know it. The true tragedy of life is not that everyone dies, the true tragedy is that not everyone really lives.
Living and merely existing is not the same thing.

“Analysis of death is not for the sake of becoming fearful but to appreciate this precious lifetime.” —  Dalai Lama

According to David Eagleman, there are three deaths: the first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time.
Let this sink in for a moment.

So I ask you; If today was the last day of your life, would you do what you are about to do today?

Remember you are mortal. Your time is limited. Don’t sweat the small stuff (and everything is small stuff in the grand scheme of things). What would you like to leave behind?
How do you want to live the rest of your life?
What will be your legacy?
Are you truly living this life or merely existing?

Make some time to ask yourself these hard questions. Make some time to reflect and reexamine your priority. After all, we all just have this one life – that we know of. Make it worth living and make it stand for something.

We all have expectations and we have all been let down on our expectations either by ourselves or someone else. We have also let someone else down on their expectation at some point or the other. Yet we continue to have expectations, of ourselves and others and continue to be let down. Why?
In this information age of instant access to curated highlights into people’s lives, do we expect too much from ourselves and people around us?

Expectations ultimately lead to disappointments more often than not. Most of the heartache in life is caused due to unfulfilled expectations yet most of our expectations are internal and quite often not accurately communicated either with ourselves or someone else.

These unsaid expectations are the worst. They unreasonably assume that we have the same understanding and viewpoint as another person (friend, child, spouse, colleague) and they will act or respond in ways which will be aligned with our interpretation of the world. Is that a fair assumption? Is that a fair responsibility we impose on someone without actually consulting them and having their consent?

And then we have the audacity to be upset and feel let down when that expectation is not met. When the other person’s behaviour is not in line with how we expected it to be. It is somehow their fault – almost exclusively?
Without realisation and a moment of reflection, we move on to have yet another expectation from yet another person or, even worse, the same person.

So let me ask you this, do you meet all of your own expectations of yourself?

• Did you stick to that diet you promised yourself you would?
• Did you wake up early and go to the gym like you decided you would?
• Did you remain calm when your friend/child/spouse upset you?
• Did you refrain from gossip at that gathering like you decide you would?

Now is it fair to say that if you, after making any of these commitments to yourself and internally discussing them, failed to see them to fruition – why must you be upset when others don’t meet your expectations?
Put another way, if you cannot meet your own expectations, why do you hold expectations from others? And do you have any right to be upset if they don’t meet those expectations?

We feel so bad when someone doesn’t act on our expectations yet we let ourselves down all the time. Once we fulfil all of our own expectations only then we can have the basis to expect something from others.

Here is a remedy to this notorious little issue that I have learnt from Steve Chandler.

The first and the most obvious (yet not always actioned) thing to do is to communicate your expectations, whether they are to yourself or to another person. You say it out loud and have a clear understanding of what it actually is that you expect to happen/to be done.
Assuming the other person (or yourself) accepts and agrees, this turns an expectation into an agreement. It is an actionable item that you have agreed upon either internally or externally.
Agreements:

• Absolves the ambiguity.
• Gets rid of unsaid expectations.
• Gets rid of blame and resentment.
• Removes self-judgment, misunderstanding, frustration and anger.

You’ll never be able to live up to the endless stream of expectations you have for yourself, but if you want to stay out of the land of judgment, you can create specific agreements with yourself: to show up, to take the small actions, to be present, to make that phone call, to shut off your phone at dinner.

Agreements have the potential to change the way you operate and transform your life. Take the time to reflect and create meaningful agreements with yourself and others. Be patient and don’t expect things to change overnight.

In life, have agreements NOT expectations.

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We search, we find. We read, we hear, we speak. We compare, we laugh, we cry and then we do it all over again.

Throughout the ages, people have been searching for the meaning of life. From the ancient Aztecs, Egyptians and the Incans to the modern apes with smartphones and satellites. Everyone has been looking for the purpose of life. The WHY. With questions like:
Why are we here?
Why do we exist?
What is the purpose of our lives?
What is the meaning of life?
These burning questions are as ancient as human consciousness itself.

According to science, the purpose of life is to just exist. Yes, just that simple. To just exist, hence we have millions of different life forms on Earth whose singular purpose is to just exist and make copies of themselves.
However of all the known lifeforms, humans have developed consciousness and we don’t just want to exist and make copies of ourselves, we want to know WHY we exist and what is the meaning/purpose/goal of this life?

Would you believe me if I told you I have the answer? Humour me … Read on

The secret is not in the meaning of life is but the definition of life. The purpose is not going to be revealed to you by scriptures, sermons, books, angels or prophets. The meaning and the true purpose of YOUR life is what you define it to be. You give meaning to your own life. It’s not a fixed, absolute value. There is no universal definition. Everyone’s meaning and purpose of life will be different:

• For some, it may be raising a family and providing them with the best possible opportunities.
• For some, it might be helping the vulnerable members of the community.
• For some, it may be building the biggest businesses in the world.
• For some, it may be entertaining others.

Whatever you choose to do though, don’t settle for mediocrity and don’t settle for average. In whatever you do in life, do your best and endeavour to be the best at it.

That is the true meaning of life. Living your life to its fullest potential. Too many people are more afraid of success than they are of failure (and there is no shortage of that either). Unfulfilled desires turn into pain and manifests in your physical bodies and world.

Learn to listen to your body and to your intuition. Define the meaning of your life by finding what work you are here to do and what contribution you can make to this universe.

“Whatever we are, whatever we make of ourselves, is all we will ever have—and that, in its profound simplicity, is the meaning of life.” ―Philip Appleman

Before your life beings, your soul/consciousness makes a plan for your life. If you keep returning to the same idea, theme or endeavour – you are being nudged back into the lane.

This month I turned 34. Here are 34 things I have learnt in the last year:

1. Follow your intuition (gut feeling/hunch/6th sense – whatever you want to call it). It’s there for a reason.
2. If you are not giving your all in this life, what are you saving it for? No one is getting out alive.
3. Make mistakes early in life. Plenty of them and then learn from them. (Read my post on making mistakes)
4. Hold strong opinions but loosely. You should be willing to change them in light new information. Don’t be the fool who is never willing to change his/her mind.
5. Everyone wants recognition, acceptance and be seen for who they are. No matter how ‘cool’ they are or act. Be accepting of yourself and be accepting of others.
6. Make a deal with yourself to learn something new every day, week, month and year. Commit to growth.
7. Writing makes you a critical thinker. It helps to clarify your thoughts. Write every day – Even if it’s a few lines (you don’t have to put it out for the world to read – I was writing for 6 months before I decided to post it).
8. Compliance can be achieved by education and compassion or by enforcement. More often than not we try to achieve it by enforcement due to some asshole that games the system. Don’t be that asshole that ruins it for everyone.
9. Don’t apologise if you don’t mean it. Don’t try to be polite by saying sorry when you’re not. Be honest. Saying sorry is usually easy. Being honest is not.
10. Don’t be afraid to talk about and seek help in relation to mental health issues.
11. Use your food as medicine so it doesn’t get replaced by medicine as you age.
12. Have a daily meditation practice. It will change your life in more ways than you can imagine.
13. There is merit in analysing things but don’t get paralysed by overthinking. Take action.
14. If you want the approval of your peers, then do what everyone else is doing. For any meaningful success in life, do what no one else would dare.
15. Have high self-esteem. If you don’t love yourself no one else will.
16. Easy decisions, hard life. Hard decisions, easy life. Choose wisely.
17. Sleep is one of the most important and underrated markers of good health. Invest in your sleep. Get good pillows, mattress sheets etc. Adults need 7-9 hours of sleep opportunity every night. It doesn’t make you lazy, it makes you healthy. There is tons of research on this. Educate yourself on sleep. (I highly recommend this book – it changed the way I think of sleep)
18. Your body is your greatest asset. All your dreams, goals, aspirations and desires are dependent on your physical ability to achieve and enjoy them. Look after your body. Eat well, exercise and make healthy choices every day. A healthy person has a million dreams, but a sick person only has one.
19. Habits are important. Invest the time, energy and money to build good habits and track your progress.
20. Learn about the viewpoints of others (religion, politics, cultures etc). It will give you a window into your own biases.
21. Learn about history. Understand why the world operates the way it does.
22. You can never please everyone in your circle. So you must always endeavour to please and make yourself happy. Make your life to your own liking.
23. When making a decision, always ask yourself; is this decision based on love or fear?
24. Avoid religious debates and arguments. Everyone is right and everyone is wrong at the same time. It is all a matter of perspective and belief. You have yours and they have theirs. Let’s just leave it at that.
25. As you age you will realise, life is about simplification and subtraction. Not about constant additions. Ask yourself; what can I subtract or remove from my life to make it simpler?
26. Plan high-quality leisure actives (learning an instrument, a new language, reading a book, creating something, exercise). Don’t just spend your time watching TV and scrolling sideways and downwards on social media.
27. Have goals. SMART goals. Give yourself a goal every day and track your progress.
28. As much as we want to teach our children the ways of life. There is so much we can learn from them; Living in the moment, sense of curiosity, wonder and awe. Learn from children.
29. Don’t just make a to-do list. Make a done list as well. List all the things you get done every day. Look back at the end of the day, week, month and year you will be amazed how much you can get done. Let it propel you to do more.
30. Don’t just save money for the sake of saving money. Make a plan to invest and utilise that money. If you save just for a rainy day, you are going to get a rainy day.
31. Learn to articulate and express your emotions, feelings and ideas effectively. It is a superpower in personal and professional life.
32. Build emotional intelligence. Understand why you feel the way you do and how to change it (if you assess it to be negative).
33. Go for a walk every day. Not only is it good for your physical well-being, but it can also do wonders for your mental health and clarity.
34. Life is a series of problems that need to be solved. We move from one problem to another. Some problems are good (where to buy a house, where to go for the next holiday) and some problems are not so good (dealing with job-loss, dealing with a failed marriage). Money does not solve life’s problem. People with lots of money have different kinds of problems but problems nevertheless.

In the last post, I discussed what change is and why we resist it. In this post, I want to provide an antidote to it and talk about ways in which we can embrace change.

Embracing Change

As much as change can be difficult, we must embrace change if we are to grow and develop – as a person, family, race, nation or a species. We must embrace change if we are to transcend and raise. The seed doesn’t become a fruit by remaining the same neither does the caterpillar become a butterfly without change. It happens with metamorphosis. It happens with change.
Now more than ever, embracing change is vital. Everything is changing, from the way we work to the way we connect, shop, bank and even socialise. If we do not step up to embrace these changes now, we will resist and we will struggle. It can be painful, yes, but most things worth our time, effort and attention are.

Here are a few ways you can embrace change:

Prepare yourself for change

Can you foresee this change coming (moving to a new country/ city/ job)? Do your research. Find out everything you possibly can about this upcoming move/change/transition. Find out all the ways in which you can minimise a shock to your system. Be prepared mentally and physically (climate/distance etc). Alas, there will always be something that takes you by surprise (isn’t that the fun of life?) but have this realisation in your mind too so it doesn’t take you completely off guard.

• Identify the problems early so you can be prepared.
• List your fears of change – what is it that you are actually afraid of? Write it down and make a list if necessary. You will realise that often times its worse in your head than it is on paper and in reality.
• Break it down into smaller action – If you break the change down into smaller, more manageable elements it becomes far easier to deal with. ‘One step at a time’ analogy.

Focus on things you can control.

There are things you have control over and then there are those you don’t. We only have a limited amount of time and energy, pick your battles carefully. Change can not always be in your control. If you cannot control it, why are you stressing about it? It’s going to happen one way or another, nothing you can do. However, if you can control it, do everything in your power to make it a favourable outcome. Read my post on Transformation and Transcendence for a bit more context.

Focus on growth

We grow by changing our current state. By either transforming or transcending. By becoming something new or accepting something as it is. Change always brings an opportunity for growth, whether we like it or not, whether we accept it or not. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong and the negative aspects of change, think of the ways in which you can grow and become a better person in the process. Remember your values, believes and principles. No matter the scale of change, if you remain true to yourself, you can weather the storm and come out on top.
Ask yourself:

• Can you learn something new due to this change (language, skill, art, about the world, about your self)?
• Will this change push you out of your comfort zone?
• Will it force you to confront an inner fear?
• Will it make you step into your greatness?
• Will it make you do something new? Something different?
  These are all opportunities for growth. Accept them. Embrace them

Let Go

Letting go is often viewed as surrender, as defeat. It is not. The act of letting go can be a powerful ally. Change can help you let go and if you embrace this mentality, change can be a powerful catalyst in transforming and improving your life.

• Let go of strong emotions (anger/sorrow/saddness/hate etc)
• Let go of expectations (have agreements instead)
• Let go of ego
• Let go of old ideas and notions (that do not serve you anymore)
• Let go of your world view to see things in a new light.
• Let go of people that don’t add value to your life – no point having ‘friends’ that do not challenge you to become better.

Facing the Change

Once you have equipped yourself with the correct perspective, a growth mindset, the precise amount of preparation and have let go of the right things, you are ready to face and embrace change, no matter its nature and scale.
Nothing in the universe is permanent so embrace the changes that come your way and find opportunities in them. Change is inevitable and as Heraclitus put it:

“The only constant in life is change”-Heraclitus

Further Reading

• Impermanence
• Impermanence is Buddha Nature
• Transformation or Transcendence
• 4 Tips to Help You Accept & Embrace Change
• 5 Effortless Ways to Embrace Change
• Change Is Hard But Unavoidable. Eight Insights On Embracing Change

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